that and a pair of testicles

He had the knowledge that manhood isn't something you only earn once, even when you've been circumcised by the Elders or you've killed your first tiger, but something that must be achieved over and over, always by pursuing what you fear; if you stay still you will only come to fear more and more things. Being a man doesn't mean being afraid of nothing; it means being warned by the fear, not mastered by it. There was nothing wrong with being afraid of what he was about to do. He had never done it. He was doing it. Later he could feel proud or ashamed of it.

from

The Rifles

William T. Vollmann

1994